Hey----ya gotta laugh. We had to laugh through 8 yrs of Rep Dynasty-------we get it-------we know how you feel. It is, however , what it is. Push back can be hell----poor ole Virginia------sigh.
Dear Red States:We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we are leaving.We in the Blue States intend to form our own country… In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).To sum up briefly:•You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.•We get stem cell research and the best beaches.•We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren.•You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.•We get the Statue of Liberty.•You get OpryLand.•We get Intel and Microsoft.•You get WorldCom.•We get Harvard.•You get Ole' Miss.•We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.•You get Alabama.•We get two-thirds of the tax revenue.•You get to make the red states pay their fair share.Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of•80% of the country's fresh water,•more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce,•92% of the nation's fresh fruit,•95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)•90% of all cheese,•90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulphur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools•plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech and MIT.With the Red States•you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs,•92% of all US mosquitoes,•nearly 100% of the tornadoes,•90% of the hurricanes,•99% of all Southern Baptists,•virtually 100% of all televangelists,•Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson, and the University of Georgia.We get Hollywood, and Yosemite, thank you.38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.
We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.Sincerely,Citizen of the Enlightened States of America
http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/2012/11/12/dear-red-states/
ReplyDeleteYour "Citizen"
About GottaLaff
GottaLaff lives in California. Laffy, as her favorite commenters call her, is a UCLA graduate and has no formal political background, notwithstanding her vast experience bellowing catcalls at what passes for TV news. Her career includes TV writing, producing, acting, voice-acting (cartoons, radio, TV) as well as writing and directing stage productions. Her current work includes teaching, writing, and directing shows with and for teens and twentysomethings. GottaLaff's posts tend to go for the lighter--okay, demented--side, suitable for pointing and laughing. Feel free to do one or both. Or just shake your head slowly and walk away.
http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/author/gottalaff/
What's wrong with Clemson?
ReplyDeleteThe blues hold onto Bernie Madoff, John Corzine, and MF Global.
ReplyDeleteThe reds keep Coca Cola, Tom Wolfe, and Brit Hume.
Detroit, LA, Oakland, and Newark stay blue.
Charlotte, Austin, Tampa red.
Carolina warm beaches, and yes the red county controlled Jersey shore.
Cold blue waters of Maine and Oregon.
Universal health care death panels, new black panthers, SEIU, Jessie Jackson Jr, Joe Biden, Eric Holder, Trumpka, and partial birth abortion go blue.
Marco Rubio, right to work, NASCAR, growth economic policies, sound money, Jim Demint, The Masters, all red.
Blue endorsements from Chaves, Castro, Putin, Hollande, and Monica's Billy.
Red roots from Washington, Jefferson, Madison, and Reagan.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that in such an acrimonious spit we would have to send people back to the state of their birth... that would make the north east a permanent blizzard of benefits seeking cotton tops who moved to the south when their joints froze up....and of course all those that came looking for work in the sun belt can go back and join their local unions in the rust belt...
DeletePunctured a gut on that one huh??????
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI thought we were all Americans. Where is your America Iouman?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy America died with the rise into power of the progressives who are destroying this country. The freedoms which we all enjoyed are slowly being destroyed by both parties, the desire to work, gone as government now provides. The goal to move forward achieve gone with the dream of hope and change. The government chooses which laws to enforce which to ignore. The president uses executive orders to implement law, clearly a congressional responsibility. Congress shirks it's duty to provide a budget to the nation, the government has spent 6 trillion more than they have in taxes. Nothing is said, nothing is done. All done with the words of equal opportunity, fairness, level playing field. All meaningless as the statement I'll cut the deficit in half in my first 4 years. People bought hope and change. Now they have bought the hook, line and sinker.
ReplyDeleteWe are truly becoming a third world nation.
Carol's posting clearly points out our differences, neither side wants to live with the other, a sad end to a great republic. All in a very short time.
I truly feel sorry for the young of today as they face a very different America than past generations. An America of entitlement, an America of free is better than work, an America that is a mere name without the freedom of past generations.
This is your America Mick, Carol's America, what you want it to be, the land of unicorns and rainbows.
The deeper irony is that the redistributionist policies so beloved of Democrats actually make the middle class poorer. The rich don’t need better jobs, schools that actually teach, and Social Security and Medicare that do not go bankrupt. The Kennedy's of this world don’t send their kids to the neighborhood school or look for work at the oil and gas company in town. The reforms so essential to the well-being of the broad middle class in America were championed by Romney and Ryan. Obama stood firmly against reform and for a status quo that already has diminished the welfare of the poor and middle class and threatens to further impoverish the entire nation. Obama will continue the mantra, there is nothing wrong with SS or Medicare. Look at the numbers, it's not difficult to see and to understand the problem as they consume our nations wealth.
ReplyDeleteThe spending in the last 4 years has done far more to move people into poverty than any other time in this nations history. The spending has forced zero percent interest rates which will likely be with us forever, the first step of hyper inflation.
The addition stimulus provided by the Federal Reserve has triggered inflation. Ever wonder why gas costs what it does? Why groceries are 30-40% more expensive. The only saving grace is so many unemployed has depressed demand or gas would be 5-6 dollars a gallon.
This is your America Mick, Carol. Business didn't create it your government created it in their attempts at redistribution.