Friday, November 16, 2012

An American Icon dies.

Hostess is facing liquidation.  I've had enough of this nonsense.  Twinkies are an American icon.  Are we going to continue down this road of destruction?  It's time to petition the White House and demand a government bailout for Hostess.  If we can bail out GM, we can bailout Hostess.  I know the government isn't happy with junk food.  If the government funds the bailout they can pressure Hostess to load up a twinkie with vitamins, minerals and maybe even a little fiber.  Replace the High Fructose Corn Syrup with a healthful substitute.  Maybe Honey, rice syrup, Michelle can help us with the best sweetener.  So what if they cost 6 dollars each and they can only charge 1.25, it will be good for you and it's just government money.  Make every school include a twinkie with every lunch as desert, instant success.

We will need 25,000 people to sign the petetion before the White House will respond.  We can't get them to balance the budget so lets force them to put the money to good use instead of investing in a battery plant no one wants.

Who's in?

11 comments:

  1. I'm in, I have stock in drug companies that make metformin and statins.

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  2. Yes, a taker, me I'm heavy (pun intended) in Jenny Craig, 24 hour fitness, 30% overweight the government will soon mandate exercise weight loss programs.

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  3. I'm in.

    Used to love those Hostess fruit pies when I was young. Then I read the label ... holy crap! Literally ...

    But I'll miss 'em ...

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  4. Sorry. Out. I was adamantly against the GM bailout.

    Jean

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    Replies
    1. Eh, Jean's Old Money - money that came from the Little Debbie empire ...

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    2. Jean, think about it, it's not about a bailout, it about Twinkies.

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    3. lou,

      "If we can bailout GM, we can bailout Hostess."

      I don't care for bailouts. I love Hohos, except that I regret the indulgence the morning after.

      Jean

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    4. Sno Balls, one of the most disgusting foods ever made, however a cupcake, that's living. LOL.

      Imagine, we could have given the 500 million from Solyndra to Hostess and every American could receive a coupon for 1 free treat of choice for that 500 million. Truly a fair trade.

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  5. Perhaps my fresh fruit and toast had something in it this morning. I have had a flash of inspiration and have cured your debit crises, your health crisis and your Political ideological crises in one simple step.
    Here you go: All fast food outlets (Kentucky, McDonalds, Hostess and the makers of a thing called Cheerios plus others shall henceforth be taxed at the top rate of company tax. If the rate is less than 80% of before tax profit, then lift the level to 80%. Less obesity, less tooth decay, less heart attacks and less need to spend money on oversized clothing. Reduce to zero the tax payable by companies who make running shoes and exercise gear.
    There is no charge for this advice although a wad of greenbacks in the mail will enable me to replenish stocks of health giving wine from the vineyards of Australia.

    Cheers now.

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    Replies
    1. Kingston,

      Snicker. Now, repeat after me, "More taxes won't solve anything." Ooom, mani padme ooom.

      Jean

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