Stephen Colbert said on Thursday night's "The Colbert Report" that he was worried about "Republican governor and python on ecstasy Rick Scott" after what happened during Florida's gubernatorial debate.
"This being Florida, right off the bean, things got very Florida," Colbert said, of the debate.
Both former Gov. Charlie Crist (D) and current Gov. Rick Scott (R) were late to their own debate because of a dispute over a small fan Crist brought to his podium.
"Who gives two shits about the environment or education," Colbert said. "It's Florida, everyone needs a fan. And I'm not alone in being a fan fan because, even though Scott came out three minutes later and they held a heated hour-long debate on a variety of topics, all anyone is talking about today is fangate."
"Clearly, for Scott's campaign, last night blew," he continued. "And, if you turned the switch the other way, it sucked."
But Colbert did think the whole thing was a little unfair.
"I don't blame Crist for wanting to bring his own coolant," Colbert said. "Based on that skin tone, I'd say his core temperature's about 450 degrees. But why should Crist get to cool himself with a fan, but Scott isn't allowed to control his temperature by laying on a chilled rock?"
When Dr. Thompson removed himself from this Earth he had his ashes shot out of a cannon. A spectacular explosion of fireworks scattered Hunter's earthly remains over Colorado. Rick Scott's political demise was considerably less spectacular; the remains of his career as a politician were blown all across Florida by a one-foot-wide electric fan.
ReplyDeleteStephen Colbert said on Thursday night's "The Colbert Report" that he was worried about "Republican governor and python on ecstasy Rick Scott" after what happened during Florida's gubernatorial debate.
"This being Florida, right off the bean, things got very Florida," Colbert said, of the debate.
Both former Gov. Charlie Crist (D) and current Gov. Rick Scott (R) were late to their own debate because of a dispute over a small fan Crist brought to his podium.
"Who gives two shits about the environment or education," Colbert said. "It's Florida, everyone needs a fan. And I'm not alone in being a fan fan because, even though Scott came out three minutes later and they held a heated hour-long debate on a variety of topics, all anyone is talking about today is fangate."
"Clearly, for Scott's campaign, last night blew," he continued. "And, if you turned the switch the other way, it sucked."
But Colbert did think the whole thing was a little unfair.
"I don't blame Crist for wanting to bring his own coolant," Colbert said. "Based on that skin tone, I'd say his core temperature's about 450 degrees. But why should Crist get to cool himself with a fan, but Scott isn't allowed to control his temperature by laying on a chilled rock?"
How can you not love Florida?
ReplyDeleteWhen Dr. Thompson removed himself from this Earth he had his ashes shot out of a cannon. A spectacular explosion of fireworks scattered Hunter's earthly remains over Colorado. Rick Scott's political demise was considerably less spectacular; the remains of his career as a politician were blown all across Florida by a one-foot-wide electric fan.
ReplyDelete